I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
