So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is Oprah even human
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wear drunk well.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
