Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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