why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
