Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
