I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
