Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
