Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
