Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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