I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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