she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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