I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
