operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
