i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Man, jail baloney is awful.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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