I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
