I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
