some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Randomize
