i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
