By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
