we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
