thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
