Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
