Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
