At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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