Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
