wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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