Pappa wants mamma naked
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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