i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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