so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
