like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
