oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
