Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
