Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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