Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
