We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
