I can tuck mytits in my pants
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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