theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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