Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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