I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
