I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize