Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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