physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
