And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
where are my eyebrows?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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