Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
