i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
