It's a beautiful day for a hangover
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
