i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
