It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
