Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
