Porn is love you can see.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
