Buhtt sex?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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