what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
