i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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