my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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