considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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