sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
