nut hugger
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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