she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
okay pat passed out under dana's car
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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