He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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