dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
