it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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