It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
