Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
