So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
