Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
