he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
