the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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