My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize