You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
