I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
