All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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