dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
