Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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