I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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