I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
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