if only i could text you this smell
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
