i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
