This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
