Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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