Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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