I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
