paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
